Change the Dynamic

So how can you deal with this? It’s going to take some time and patience on your part, but you can retrain your loved one to respond to the first request. Ready?
1. Have a short, direct conversation with your loved one about the problem. “I notice that I often tell you 5 or 6 times to do something before you eventually do it. That’s not going to work anymore. From now on, I will tell you once, and if you don’t do as asked by the time, I tell you, there will be a consequence.”
2. Be sure you know what the consequence will be! Making one up in the heat of the moment is ineffective. Be clear about what she can expect to gain for completing the task assigned and what she will lose if she doesn’t comply.
3. Give a time frame to allow for transition. Look, you don’t like to jump at someone’s suggestions and your loved one doesn’t either. Instead of saying, “Do this right now!” a more effective statement might be: “The trash needs to be taken out before 4 o’clock. That means you have 20 minutes to get it done.”
4. In the beginning, give a reminder – once. Remember that you’re asking him to learn a new behaviour.
5. Be prepared for failure. This may be the hardest part of this whole process. You’ve repeated your instructions so many times in the past; he’s going to test that theory more than once before things shift. It’s only through repeated, consistent practice that both of you will understand that things have changed.